you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
