Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
