how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
