just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I party with great urgency now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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