wat bout pragnant strippers??
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
