Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
