I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize