So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
