I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
