I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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