I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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