i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize