They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
