I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
