who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i came on her dog
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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