If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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