Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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