I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
