i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
