Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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