your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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