I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
