also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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