normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
