Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
