I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How naked do you want me to be?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
