after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
