I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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