His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
