It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
