i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
try to milk me bitch
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
