The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize
