Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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