just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
