we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
