Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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