It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
