Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!

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(740): View more from Ohio

worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

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(518): View more from New York

I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Where was your thought process?

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

Drowning in my hangover.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.

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(415): View more from California

I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.

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(714): View more from California

he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy

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