wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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