We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
