i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
