dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
