Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He has the fingertips of a God
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