fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
