I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
