Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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