have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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