Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
