There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize