I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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