i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
