You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
