you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
