I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
