Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
