I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
