I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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