Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
do herpes really smell.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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