i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
