how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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