do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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