Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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