I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
