Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
