All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
