This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize