I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
