This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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