Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
